


SGFG

by socixlxcasualty



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: AU, But not always, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Song fics, idk what else to tag im new at this, lots of em - Freeform, smut but not quite, sorry if they suck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:34:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7439545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socixlxcasualty/pseuds/socixlxcasualty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>so a very dear friend of mine told me, shortly after sgfg was released, that she wanted to write a series of song fics based on the titles of the album. However, as far as I'm aware, she never got around to it. And as it's her birthday soon and I'm too broke to buy her a present right now, I'm going to write her one instead. </p>
<p>I really apologise if it all sucks, I did try</p>
            </blockquote>





	SGFG

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really have much of an idea what to write for this one so it'll probably be one of the worst. sorry. no pairing, non-au

There must come a time in every band member's life when they become a douche bag.

Not a snotty, two-faced, arrogant areshole, but someone who is happy to throw around their money because it means absolutely nothing to them by this point.

It is with deep regret that I must inform you that 5 Seconds Of Summer are now officially douche bags.

It started with Michael. So obsessed was he with his computer games, he spent waaaaaay too much money on buying every console as it was produced, all the variations of controllers, all the games that would catch his eye. Why? Because he could. He had the money, why not spend it?

The other three members of the band simply rolled their eyes and let him get on with it, at first not seeing the advantages of doing exactly what he was doing. They were all content with lounging around in their spare time and occasionally playing with Michael. Michael was too engrossed in his computer games to really notice what the other's did in their down time, anyway.

It seemed a tv advert would be what changed Calum's attitude.

"Hey, guys, look at this!"

Only Luke and Ashton responded, moving to a sitting position. In the bed next to them, Michael snored quietly (he'd stayed up till three that morning completing Halo). Luke frowned.

"What?"

Calum grinned, and pointed at the tv. "Look at those! How awesome do they look?"

Luke and Ashton followed Calum's gesture to the paused tv. Their eyebrows furrowed.

"What are they?" Ashton asked.

"They're called Zoomies," Calum enthused. "You put them on, and there's a dial at the side you can twist to zoom in on things!"

Luke and Ashton exchanged a glance. Then Luke smiled.

"Sure, Calum, they look great," he said. He began to move back into the fetal position he was previously in.

"Do you want me to order you a pair, too?"

Luke froze, the smile falling from his face. "Uhh, no thanks. I'm good."

Calum turned to Ashton, unfazed. "You?"

Ash curled his lip. "No. Why would I want those?"

Calum looked indignant. "Because they're awesome. Look at them!" He gestured at the tv again. "They're telescopes that you can wear! What's not to love?"

Ashton snorted. "Everything."

Calum rolled his eyes. "Fine. Your loss. Michael?" All three boys glanced over at the still-sleeping boy to watch him appear groggily from under the duvet.

"What?" he grumbled.

"You want a pair of Zoomies?"

Michael stared at Calum for precisely three seconds before burrowing back under the blanket. Calum sighed. "You're missing out, bro."

He picked up his phone, preparing the dial the number on the screen. Ashton reached out to put a hand on Calum's arm. "Dude? Are you sure about this? They look pretty shit to me." Calum glared at him.

"Well, I want a pair. If you don't, then that's fine. But don't tell me what I can and can't spend my money on!" Ashton sighed, holding his hands up, palms outward.

"Do what you want."

Calum muttered something under his breath but said nothing more. He dialed the number and held the phone to his ear. He fidgeted in excitement. How fun this was! Calling up to buy things had never interested him before (he was more of an online shopper), but this was a new experience. One that excited him beyond words.

Five minutes later, after hanging up, Calum switched the tv to one of those channels committed to advertising as seen on tv products. His eyes were glued to the screen, taking in every detail of every product shown. After twenty minutes, he had a list of numbers he wanted to call.

Luke, meanwhile, had spent so long scrolling on his that his thumb was beginning to hurt. He swapped hands for the third time, and clicked the checkout button. He swallowed, wondering if he should just take out a few items to round the price down to the nearest hundred. But before he could commit, his thumb twitched, clicking 'buy.' Well, he would tell people it was a twitch, later, when they asked when he'd just spent over four hundred dollars on band shirts. But for now, Luke sighed in contentment. There was no feeling as good as buying things online, and letting the excitement build over the coming weeks as you waited for your items to arrive. Luke dropped his phone onto his chest, but picked it back up thirty seconds later, hunting for a different website on which he could buy different clothes.

Ashton seemed rather disappointed in his brothers. He glanced around the room, shaking his head at the sight. There was Michael, snores growing louder as he fell into a deeper sleep. There was Luke, staring greedily at his phone screen as he placed yet another order. There was Calum, giddily calling up to buy another useless product that he probably wouldn't use. And there was Ashton, doing nothing. He didn't even have his phone in his hand since it had fallen out of his pocket and shattered. He hadn't had a phone for three days now, but he'd been putting off going to get a new one since he really couldn't be bothered to find a store near their hotel. He contemplated sending someone to do it for him, but decided against it. Instead, a new idea occurred to him.

"Hey, does anyone want to go skydiving?"

The only response was a grunt from Michael.

"Guys!"

Luke glanced up from his phone, his eyes clearing. Even though he looked back down at the phone, Ashton knew he was listening. Calum ended his call and turned to look at him. "Yeah?

"Do you want to come skydiving with me?" Ash repeated. Calum looked bewildered.

"What's brought that on?" he asked. Ashton shrugged.

"I don't know. I've always wanted to do it, and now that we have some time off I figured I'd give it a go. I might try bungee jumping, too," he added thoughtfully. Luke furrowed his brows.

"Since when are you an adrenaline junkie?" he asked. Ashton rolled his eyes.

"I'm not. They both just seem pretty cool. I mean, how awesome would it be so say I've been skydiving?" His eyes were bright as he looked between the two of them. Calum seemed dubious.

"I don't know, Ash. It's not really my thing."

"Mine either," Luke chirped, eyes already glued to his phone as he made yet another purchase of band merch. He already had a suitcase specifically for his band shirts, but that wasn't enough for him. He couldn't help buying.

Ashton sighed. "Fine. can I borrow your phone, Luke?" he asked.

The blonde cradled his phone against his chest, looking anxious. "What for?" he asked warily. Ash rolled his eyes.

"To try and find the nearest place to go skydiving. I need to get it down pretty soon, otherwise I won't have time before we have to get back on tour. And if you hadn't noticed, my phone isn't exactly working right now."

Luke sniffed. "Maybe you should think about getting a new phone before going skydiving," he suggested.

"Yeah, I'll get around to it. But can I just use yours for now, please? It's not as though you're doing anything important."

He could see Luke wanted to protest, but since buying band merch wasn't important, he sighed and handed the phone over. Ashton took it and glanced momentarily at the page Luke was on: some site he'd never heard selling half-price t-shirts. He tried not to react to the price he'd already built up, and hurriedly opened a new page. He searched for a while, and eventually found a place two hours from where they were. He asked the others, again, if they wanted to go with him, but when they all refused he booked a session for only himself. It was for three days' time, and he wondered if there was anything he could do in that time. Probably not. With a regretful sigh, he handed the phone back to Luke.

In this time, Calum has resumed his phone calls to whoever the hell he was calling, and Michael had woken up once more. He pulled the duvet off his face, and just laid the, surveying the room. He watched Calum for a few minutes, wondering what he was doing. After Calum ended a call, Michael pounced.

"Calum, what are you doing?" he asked, voice gravelly from sleep. Calum grinned at him.

"I'm ordering all this stuff that they're advertising on tv, they look so cool. They'll all be here in a couple of days," he replied, excitedly. Michael narrowed his eyes.

"How much stuff have you ordered?"

Calum shrugged. "I don't know. A bit, I guess."

"You've been on the phone for forty-five minutes, Calum. I'd say you've ordered more than a bit," Luke said, not looking up from his phone. He pressed buy on the checkout and locked his phone, sighing. Calum shot him a look.

"Says you, who I'd wager has just spend a lot of fucking money on clothes he won't wear," he snapped. Luke looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry. I can't help it," he replied. Calum rolled his eyes.

"At least I'll be using the things I've bought, and the money won't go to waste, " he muttered. Ashton, on his way to the bathroom, paused.

"I wouldn't count on that, Calum. You have no idea how useless most of that stuff is," he countered. "Seriously? Zoomies? What on earth do you need those for?"

Calum look uncomfortable. "I don't know. I could spy on people as they walk past the hotel." He gestured to the window.

"Dude that's just creepy," Michael drawled, already half asleep. Calum stuck his tongue out at him.

"Hey, Mike," Ashton began quickly before Michael fully drifted off. "You wanna go skydiving with me?" Michael opened his eyes and looked up at him.

"Do I seem like the skydiving sort to you?" he asked. Ashton thought for a moment.

"Not really," he replied.

"Exactly."

 

****

 

Three days later, Luke and Calum were fighting to get to the door as the eagerly awaited their orders. Ashton had already disappeared to go skydiving, and Michael was still asleep.

"No, mine will be here first!" Calum yelled, shoving Luke away from the door.

"No, it'll be mine! Yours won't be here for ages yet, you only ordered them a few days ago. I've got an order from two weeks ago that should be arriving today!" Luke snapped. He began to move around Calum, but they both froze as there was a knock at the door. They met each other's eyes, then scrambled to get to the door first. Luke used his height and breadth to his advantage, shoving Calum behind him and blocking him from getting to the door. He opened it, reaching out to take the package. He stopped, however, when he saw Ashton watching him.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "I came back to get my sunglasses, and all I can hear is you two bickering."

"Tell him my delivery will be here first!" Calum whined. Ashton cast him a scathing look.

"You ordered that crap three days ago. It won't be here yet." He stepped around the two of them, hunting around for his sunglasses. When he found them, he was dismayed to find them looking slightly as though someone had sat on them. Then he composed himself.

"Fuck it. I'll buy a new pair while I'm out," he muttered to himself as he left the room. Luke and Calum were still standing where he'd left them, and he just looked at them as he passed them. He swung the door shut behind him, disappearing.

"Ha!"

Calum jumped. "What?"

"I told you mine would be here before yours!" Luke said, dancing around the room, laughing. "I told you, I told you!"

"You're such a douche bag, Luke," Calum grunted, throwing himself down on the bed. Luke continued dancing around the room.

"We're all douche bags, Calum. We're all douche bags."

**Author's Note:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR SUCH A SHITTY ENDING BUT IT WENT KINDA PEAR SHAPED AND I JUST WANTED TO END IT.  
> anways, congrats on getting this far, id have given up tbh haha. but thank you for reading, it really means a lot to me.  
> also, the Zoomies are real things. no copyright infringment or whatever, i guess  
> just gonna shamelessly promote myself bc i need the followers, but follow me on twitter pls thnx its @Socixlxcasualty


End file.
